Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Vacillation

I'm becoming less and less certain of my own opinions. Is that normal? I always assumed that by the time I was an adult, which I suppose I am now, I would have things figured out. It doesn't appear to work that way. For instance, my two-year-old is already a tech-head. I did not plan for that to happen. I'm sure I solemnly swore that he would not even see video games until he was in high school, let alone play them. He now plays game cube, xbox, and computer games, and loves to listen to music on winamp instead of a stereo. "What kind of mother allows her child to spend so much time in front of a screen?" I can just hear myself saying that three years ago. I still don't like it, and try my hardest to limit it, but there aren't a whole lot of things to keep a busy toddler entertained when you don't have a yard (that's my excuse). It seems like I might just be allowing my laziness to dictate my morals. It's pathetic that convenience is the deciding factor in so many of my decisions; like the decision to feed my children Kraft Mac & Cheese for lunch, instead of a delicious, nurtritious meal with vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. I've always had a theory that people's personalities harden along with their arteries. Doesn't it seem like our parents/grandparents are just as they always were, but more so? Did they have these same eras of confusion and uncertainty, or am I just strange? I think maybe my personality is losing density along with my bones, instead. That doesn't bode well for the future. Thank goodness I married a wise man.

5 comments:

Sara said...

We don't remember our parents when they were at our stage of child rearing; I bet they were the same way. Sometimes exhaustion takes a hold and we are just preventing ourselves from working to death.

You're doing fine, right now just concentrate on keeping your sanity, soon enough our kids will take that from us in their teen years.

Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

I totally agree, or understand rather. I do not know if my little one will be using the computer in a few 10 months seeing as how he can't even walk yet, but it might catch me by suprise!
*sigh* I really enjoyed reading this!

SUNNYBROOK said...

I've always had a theory that people's personalities harden along with their arteries.

ROFL! Great line.

Ok dear. Just what part of the "molded clay vessel" thing don't you understand? Ha. Let me assure you that these feelings of uncertainty do no diminish with age, but rather increase exponentially as the children become mutant alient teens.

Raining on the parade!

Noillirac said...

Glad to know I'm not alone, but it sounds as if we are bound for uncertainty until we're dead. I can't decide if that's depressing or a relief.

SUNNYBROOK said...

I guess that depends on whether your reality grounds you or depresses you.

God's faithfulness affords great comfort and stability in spite of the certainty of uncertainty.

Three cheers for groundedness. From dust we come and to dust we return. Blessed be the name of the Lord. He is the constant that tethers us.

"Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow; blessings all mine..."