Thursday, August 30, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #28

Another Guest post. This one is by my mother, Lilibeth. (Her online soubriquet) She is an excellent Bible teacher here at the local Chrisitan school. You can see that I come by my biting sarcasm genetically. Yes, you can be a loving teacher and keep your sense of humor.

Thirteen Ways to Annoy your Junior High Teacher

1. If you notice that it’s almost time for the bell to ring, start counting down to zero. If the bell doesn’t ring on zero, start over. Sooner or later you will get it right.

2. Spell your name differently every time you hand in a paper. After all “Variety is the …um…thing that keeps the doctor away?

3. Wave your hand urgently until the teacher finally calls on you. Then ask the same question the student before you asked.

4. If you are grading in class, use your own judgment on the answers. After all, “The Euphrates River” is sort of like “the Gobi Desert”.…and if you traded papers your friends will appreciate your kindness.

5. If you are grading in class, make sure every answer is exactly right. After all, “The Euphrates River” might not mean the same thing as “The River Euphrates.” …and if you traded papers you want to make sure nobody makes as good a grade as you do.

6. If you don’t understand something, call it “stupid”, thus transferring the deficiency to the material, or to the stupid old assignment.

7. If you understand something, call anybody who doesn’t “stupid”. This will make you feel superior and smug…warm fuzzies.

8. Tell the substitute teacher horror stories about your teacher while she is sick at home with the flu and unable to defend herself.

9. Tell the teacher horror stories about the wicked substitute who made you wait in class five minutes after the bell rang, to punish you for counting down for the last five minutes of class.

10. Ask the teacher what you are going to do today as soon as you come into the classroom. This is particularly effective if everybody in the class does it.

11. Decorate every assignment with camouflaged semi trucks and dragons; it doesn’t really matter if you get the assignment finished.

12. Complain loudly about the fact that you got points taken off for the questions you didn’t finish. After all, the stupid old assignment was so long it interfered with your counting down to the bell.

13. Raise your hand to answer every question. It doesn’t matter what the question is…because sooner or later the answer will be “Moses”.

Check here for more Thursday Thirteens.


No Nonsense girl said...

I remember high school, the teachers must be saints to tolerate teens all day long!

Great TT!!!

Yen said...

Great list! Happy TT! :)

Mine's up too!

Mom not Mum said...

LOL I used to teach 7th grade - these were all great.

You could add "Write all your papers in yellow gel pen it will help your teacher's eyesight" I had to ban certain "gel" colors in my classroom.

JAM said...

I couldn't be a teacher. I have very little tolerance for teens and their antics. Normal silly stuff, ok, but the showing off to make a fool of the teacher would last about 26.8 seconds with me.

The headline would be, "Teacher, 44, Hits Student on Top of Head, Breaking Student's Neck and Both Legs".

Anonymous said...

hmmm. I think I remember pulling a few of these...hehehe!

Auntie M said...

This is all too funny, and very real.

Qtpies7 said...

Hahaha! We used to count down to the bell ringing, but only the last 10 seconds.
I have heard of kids using different names as they choose, lol. My dd doesn't even put her name on it, like the teacher is just going to know it is hers, lol. That is probably because of homeschooling.

aftergrace said...

Your mom is too funny!
Yes, as teachers we do have our "saintly" moments. You do have to love the kids, if you don't it's all for nothing.

Myrna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Myrna said...

Ha! I recognize a few of these, even from teaching a tiny group of Jr. Highs on Wednesday nights... especially numbers 6, 7, and 10... number 10 really drives me crazy.