Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #29


13 National Insults From the Book The Big Book of National Insults: 1001 Xenophobic Quips and Quotes
The opinions expressed in this post are not the opinions of the blog author, and she will not be responisble for any hate mail which may be forthcoming. In fact, this blogger has decided to only post insults of the countries she would be interested in visiting someday. (Or others that are just really funny.)

1. There is the fear, common to all English-only speakers, that the chief purpose of foreign languages is to make fun of us. - Barbara Ehrenreich

2.Can we never extract the tapeworm of Europe from the brain of our countrymen? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

3. The best thing I know between France and England is - the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

4. The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them. - Robert Morley

5.Wherever Germans are, it is unhealthy for Italians - Italian Saying

6. One German a beer; two Germans an organization; three Germans a war. - Polish Saying

7. Belgium is just a country invented by the English to annoy the French. - Charles De Gaulle

8. Since WWII, Italy has managed, with characteristic artistry, to create a society that combines a number of the least appealing aspects of socialism with practically all the vices of capitalism. - Gore Vidal

9.Be friendly with the Russian, but take care that you have a rock ready on your chest. - Ukranian Saying

10. In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, bloodshed, murder - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock! - Orson Welles

11. The climate of England has been the world's most powerful colonizing influence. - Russell Green

12. English cuisine is so generally threadbare that for years there has been a gentlemen's agreement in the civilized world to allow the Brits pre-eminence in the matter of tea - which, after all, comes down to little more than the ability to boil water. - Wilfrid Sheed

And my personal favorite...

13. Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Check here for more Thursday Thirteen.

13 comments:

SUNNYBROOK said...

MMMpf!!

Those were a riot. Sounds like a fun book.

Damozel (Buck Naked Politics) said...

Those are funny. Though I must say after believing all my life in 12, I was surprised to see what a range of delicious meals (including a LOT more ethnic cuisine) I was able to enjoy in Britain....

Nicholas said...

I am convinced that in moments of stress, all foreigners revert to English.

Denise Patrick said...

Those were very funny - especially the one about the Germans being unhealthy for Italians!

Happy TT!

*~JESSIE~* said...

Very funny! Happy TT to you!

Mom not Mum said...

LOL Fantastic list I epecially liked #7!!

Qtpies7 said...

I liked 10 and 12, lol.

Attolia said...

Yay insults! :P Another book to add to my "to read" list.

No Nonsense girl said...

I like the one about the french!!! I'm sure people realy believe these things!

Happy TT!!!

Lynn / vigilant20 said...

LOL #10 is awesome

aftergrace said...

I'd like to find out if #11 is true. I've always wanted to go to England. I have often felt that I am genetically engineered for a different climate.

DoubleDeckerBusGuy said...

Allow me to add a "Canadian" one...

Canadians spend 50% of their time explaining to Americans that they are not British... and 50% of their time explaining to Britains that they are not American... leaving no time for themselves.

JAM said...

Wonderful. My kind of book for sure.

I love the Orson Wells one. Cuckoo Clocks!

I like the cricket one too. I don't care how many people think Baseball is an American game, it's too close to cricket NOT to be a wayward child. That's why baseball games last forever and are mind-numbingly boring.