Introducing the new Feline Weather Vane system! No longer do you need to drag yourself to the computer or television to look up the wind direction, and no longer must you walk outside to feel that cold blast of air or look up at some ridiculous metal rooster on your roof!
With the new FWV , you just watch which of your windows this cat chooses as his seat. Is there a cold wind blowing in from the north? Kitty will be snoozing on top of the air conditioner. Is there a strong, dusty southern wind? Kitty will be hiding in the dining room window. This system is fail-proof and guaranteed!
But wait, there's more! If you order now your FWV will come with snuggling and purring capabilities for those warm afternoons on the front porch, and your kiddos will love feeding your FWV each morning.
And that's not all! Your FWV can also transform into the Feline Alarm System. No pesky stray dogs or cats will come around your front porch without a screeching howl from your FAS, alerting you to the danger of the neighbor's pets who may be preparing to mark your screen door, or add extra fertilizer to your front flower beds.
Best of all, the FWV and FAS can be yours for low monthly installments of $6. (Price of Food.) The machine itself is free! Yes, your heard me right, FREE! Just head down to your local humane society, animal pound, or watch your local ads. If you plan ahead and select a female FWV/FAS you can be assured quality service for years to come.
Don't wait, order now!
(Babystepper LTD is not responsible for the actions of your FWV/FAS. Babystepper LTD holds no liability in the event of a runaway or FWV/FAS that has not been equipped with snuggling capabilities. Babystepper LTD holds no responsibility for veterinarian bills should you choose to fix up your old model instead of upgrading in the event of a problem.)
8 comments:
Ha. Does the FWV/FAS come in a not-allergy inducing model?
HA haa thanks for the story
ROFL!!! Love it! Thanks for the laugh today!
Very cute! As your trusty, neighborhood business consultant, I'm glad you included that little disclaimer at the end!
We have two of the FWV/FAS systems at our house. Never a dull moment.
"Snuggling capabilities" :)
Haha! Mine is male, that must be why he doesn't work so well. or the fact that you can't really get in the window ledges. He does, however, frequently scare the life out of me in the o'dark early in the morning when his face pops up in my kitchen window when I am filling my cup with water for coffee.
We did realize that winter was coming fast when our female cat quit trying to get outside and doesn't try to get out anymore.
That's pretty cool and all, but to be GREAT, you need Billy Mays to read this at the sound level of a Kiss concert.
With this new gig, I'm assuming the Snake Oil and the Amway things didn't work out?
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