Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #45

13 Things That Give Me the Willies.

Some of these cause actual fear, some revulsion, and some discomfort. In my opinion these feelings are all summed up by the term "willies". Some are (relatively) frivolous, and some are shared by almost all of humanity. By its very nature, this post is slightly negative. Don't worry I'm not depressed or even upset about anything.

1. Cordyceps Fungi - (pictured at right) This is a newly discovered fear. This type of fungus is specific to different species of bugs. The one that lives in ants, for instance, causes the ant to lose its mind and crawl up high on a limb to die. Then the fungus grows out of the dead ant's head and eventually bursts, causing its spores to dissipate over a wide area. It can wipe out an entire ant colony. (Thank you Planet Earth by BBC for this latest willy.)

2. Turnip Greens - If I were starving, I'm sure I'd eat and love these...well, eat them. I am not, however, starving, and they frankly do not look like something that should be ingested by anything that doesn't live in a swamp. Which brings me to...

3. Murky Swamp Water - I still have nightmares about falling into water that is full of weeds and slime. It's not because it's gross. It's something deeper and more primitive. I can't explain it. Those patches of sea with kelp growing in them.. yeah, wigs me out.

4. Styrofoam - I hate the sound Styrofoam makes when you rub it against other Styrofoam or cardboard. It really makes me want to scream. The textures and sounds are almost more than I can take.

5. Spiders/Cockroaches - Yes, this one is very common, but the only time in my life when I've ever really, actually screamed was when two monster cockroaches crawled out of my drain in the dorm. Spiders too. I don't like any of them. Not even the cute little fuzzy black ones that Art likes to hold in his hand.

6. Large Animals - I've always been very nervous about large animals that are on the same side of the fence as me. The buffaloes that you can meet on the trail at the Wichita Mountains in western OK were always the scariest part of the hike for me. My farm-raised husband thinks I'm ridiculous to be afraid of the cows, but I am. If he's with me, I'm OK, but it terrifies me to walk through a field with cows or horses in it.

7. Precious Moments - I just don't like them. I'm sorry. I know that they're supposed to be cute, and I realize that lots of people are obsessed with them. Not me. Not ever. The big eyes, the weirdly shaped heads...can't do it.

8. Vomit - I don't even want to hear about it. If you've been sick, just keep the details to yourself. When my children urp, I pray to God that Art is home. I'll comfort the child, change their clothes, whatever, just don't make me clean up the puke. (On a funny note, Mim calls it "Kupe".)

9. The Princess Bride - A certain unnamed cousin (who happens to have her own blog) used to make me watch this with her when I was 5 or 6. Let me just tell you how very little one can grasp irony and satire in the kindergarten year. Not at all. I still can't watch this movie, cult classic though it may be. Count me out of that cult. (Love you anyway, J =))

10. Reality TV - Can we say "totally worthless"? I have yet to find a reality show, (and, granted, I've watched very little of very few) that doesn't make me want to SCREAM! Do they really think we're that stupid? Does anyone really believe that the way these people are behaving for the cameras is any indication of their true personality? The pettiness and the grotesque plays for fame make me sick.

11. Dry Skin - Please just put on socks. If your dry feet are making those awful scraping sounds against the carpet, I might just tackle you to the ground and gnaw your feet off. Art learned this the hard way. (He still has feet, but that's just because I love him so much. Oh, and I need him to carry out the trash.)

12. Old Food - My mother, Lilibeth, mocks me for this on a regular basis. (As does Art) I don't care. Call me crazy; call me obsessed. I don't want to eat bad food. Does the phrase "food poisoning" not cause anyone else concern? If it's years, or even months, past the expiration date, I'm not going to eat it. Sorry. I don't care that there are still canned goods found from the arctic expeditions one hundred years ago that would be edible. Not doing it.

13. 3/4 Time - I would like for a real drummer to just show me how to play 3/4 time on a trap set. The only thing I can come up with is a terribly pathetic, basic rhythm. I need help, but apparently I'm the only person in my entire town who plays the drums, so there's no one to teach me. The only help I get is the occasional guy at church who says I need to just "let it go" up there. Hard to "let it go" when you're playing worship songs, fella. I'm pretty sure I want to keep "it" right where it is, thank you very much.

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suchsimplepleasures said...

i think i must be related to you!!! i can't stand precious moments...hate them. want to smash them! old food...ew...eweweweeeeewwwww!! and...pretty much, everything else you named. btw...i liked princess bride but, it's my husbands all time favorite movie...and he makes me watch it, every. time. it's. on. t.v!!!

Frances said...

Ohmigosh that first one is going to give me nightmares.
Your list gave me the willies.
Hope I can sleep tonight.
Take care

Lazy Daisy said...

Very interesting list...Princess Bride? That one made me laugh.

aftergrace said...

I agree with you on every single item on your list. I especially hate styrofoam, same with the sound of cutting cardboard with a knife. Eeek! Old food creeps me out, and who thought up those Precious Moments creatures, anyway?

MondaythroughSunday said...

How funny..Precious Moments! LOL..I have to say I do not care for them either. I am the same with food...and raw eggs! Still have family that want to make ice cream with raw eggs..ew!

Nicholas said...

When you think about it, a televised sports event is reality TV. So are the election campaigns. Any kind of competition is reality TV. I enjoy “The Amazing Race” because it has people who have to perform tasks, and they see the world.

I’ve never seen the Princess Bride, and nothing I have ever heard about it makes me regret that!

Spiders are mostly harmless to us, and in fact do us a favour by consuming large numbers of flies and mosquitoes. It's a shame they suffer from the unreasoning prejudice of people who want to kill them.

I am totally with you on turnip greens! Ugh!

Scribbit said...

Love this list--and did you get number one off of Planet Earth because that thing is just plain terrifying no?

Candy said...

I also hate spiders (no matter what Nicholas said) and bad food. And vomit... ugh! I remember I had a patient in the hospital who puked and I puked along with him! :o)

Lilibeth said...

Scribbit didn't really read the list, did she? ha ha. and hey, in my defense, we don't make fun of you for not wanting to eat old food, just for being paranoid about it. I understand that "expired date" lunch meat might be dangerous, but "expired date" Karo syrup that has been in the fridge is not going to give you botulism, and cottage cheese that's two days over is only a little more curd to the curdle. Ah well, you've never had food poisoning...come to think of it, neither have I.

UKZoe said...

Ok, so I wouldn't agree with all of them, but EUGH you just sent shivers down my spine!

Darla said...

I'm with Nicholas on the spiders. I don't want them crawling on me, but I don't mind them otherwise--they kill other, ickier bugs. Cockroaches, on the other hand.... *shudder*

I definitely agree on reality TV. Gah. One of the reasons I just don't watch TV.

Johanna said...

I agree with you on that fungus stuff. We saw it on Planet Earth too. Ewwww Looked like something out of Alien. I hate the sound of styrofoam.I could care less for reality tv.
I still like Princess Bride. I have the book too. It was a book before the movie. :)

Attolia said...

I would be perfectly happy if every single arthropod were suddenly wiped off the face of the globe. Well, except that I like popcorn maybe we can keep shrimp.

And I love The Princess Bride, but that's because I fast-forward the torture scene, or at least mute it. I don't think I've ever seen that part in its entirety.

Tendrils said...

LMAO! I LOVE YOUR LIST!!!!! I am with ya on the puke, the cockroaches and spiders, the Precious Moments, The Princess Bride, Reality TV, and dry skin!

Have a great day!


The Princess Bride is an all time favorite around our house...everyone quotes along with the characters all throughout every time we watch it...which is usually at least once a month...well...I don't watch it much anymore, but I'm usually surfing or gaming nearby, so I still quote along with the kids!

JAM said...

I love me some turnip greens (with cornbread) and Princess Bride, but I'm exactly as you are about people's vomit.

That was THE most difficult thing I ever had to deal with in working for Delta Airlines back in the day.

Qtpies7 said...

I'd rather cockroaches than spiders, but hate them, too. I like Precious Moments and my kids LOVE Princess Bride. I don't get the fun in it, but then I don't like Phantom of the Opera, either, I think it is tedious.
Kaytlin and I both freak about milk even ON the sell by date. I rarely will even eat leftovers. Some are tasty, but most I'd rather just toss before it molds in the fridge instead of after.