Wednesday, April 29, 2009
500th Post, Believe it or Not
Here are a couple of the things that have sprung from my son's imagination in the last few days. In no particular order...
A. He told our neighbor friend, Carl, "I wish Mary Magdalene had put spices on Jesus' body the first day instead of the third, because if anyone smelled him that first day, they would wish she had been there."
Which is probably sacrilegious, but he's five, so I just had to laugh and hope that God would factor that in to His reaction too.
B. He also invented his own galaxy (called Ellipse) which has a star (called Alexandra) around which orbit ten planets. He made all of this up on the fly after we read a book about astronomy. Before each planet he would say, in a Bob Barker kind of voice, "And here's planet number 1 (or 2 or whatever)" The planets are: (in his own words...not all of his own words, there isn't room. Just some of his words, but none of mine, which is what I meant)
1. Rubber - It's made of rubber
2. Markable - Made of stuff that is washable for markers
3. Pigs' Meat - People only can eat pigs' meat
4. Burn - Closer to Alexandra than Mercury is to our sun
5. Soundwaves - Really, really tiny; tinier than Pluto, I call it a Double-Dwarf planet. It also is very, very loud.
6. Flammable - It has blamming (sic) fires around it surface. The burning flams (sic) are hotter than the sun. It is the closest to Alexandra.
7. Giant - The biggest planet that is orbiting Alexandra. No people live on it.
8. Clip - But anyway, it has one big, BIG, BIG storm.
9. Rip - Has stuff that is very, very soft. Like leather and a big soft rock. It's small.
10. Snake - Lots and lots of snakes live on snake.
Then he proceeded to be one of his characters (invented previously) called Strong Skunk. ("He's very strong. He can rip metal and steel!") and decided he lived on Soundwaves, previously known as Zaya's bedroom.
C. Today also brought us a new character; Frostie, the Siberian Tiger. He likes to wipe deer brains on his white stripes and then his black stripes soak up the brain juices. (And no, we've never taken him hunting. I have no idea how my children became so cynical when it comes to death and gore. I don't even watch that kind of thing on TV, let alone allow my children to watch it.)
D. While I was cooking supper, he came up to me and told me that Spikit (another imaginary friend who has been with us lo, these many years) does not poop and pee like a normal person. This is roughly how the conversation went.
Mom - Well, then what happens to all his food.
Zaya - It just hits these spiky things in his intestines and poof, it turns into a gas.
Mom - Ummm, so he just toots?
Zaya - No, Mom. It just turns into gas, the way dry ice does.
Mom - Oh, it sublimates.
Zaya - Yeah, it sublimates. And then it's just gone.
Mom - That's not the way it works, though, because the gas would build up in his intestines and then he would just explode.
Zaya - Well, anyway, Mom, it just goes up his esophagus.
Mom - So he burps it out.
Zaya - No, he just blows it out, like this. (Blows air out)
Mom - Then it couldn't have come from his esophagus, it has to have traveled through his blood stream to his lungs, then he could blow it out as air.
Zaya - Yeah, you're right. It goes to his lungs, and then he just blows it out.
If anyone had told me five years ago that I would be having these kind of strange conversations with my screaming infant before he left Pre-K, I'm not sure whether I would have laughed or cried.